


Duty Bound

by lil_1337



Category: Latter Days
Genre: Angst, Discussion of Homophobia, Longing, M/M, Religious Conflict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-19
Updated: 2012-12-19
Packaged: 2017-11-21 16:30:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/599815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_1337/pseuds/lil_1337
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Aaron/Christian - Morning After (Aaron's thoughts as he was leaving the airport hotel room in Salt Lake)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Duty Bound

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://smallfandomfest.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://smallfandomfest.livejournal.com/)**smallfandomfest** fest 12

Aaron awoke to the dark stillness before dawn, a habit he'd had as long as he could remember. Mornings started early at home no matter the season or your personal inclinations. There was bible study and work around the church to be done before school. His father spoke often on the temptations of the seven deadly sins and made sure that sloth knew there was no place for it in the Davis home. Aaron had always been an obedient son and tried to do everything he could to make his father proud of him including rising early without being reminded or prodded.

Not that it was going to matter now. Aaron had crossed the line of no return. He'd laid with man as if he was woman and in doing so had set himself on the path, scenic as it might be, to hell. While the small boy instead of him longed for Utah and home the man he now was desired just the opposite. It would be so easy to get on a plane and go back to L.A. with Christian despite the price tag that would come with that choice. Sadly, Aaron was never one to take the easy route especially if it meant being untrue to himself. It was time to man up and stop lying to himself and everyone else about who and what he was.

With a sigh he shifted so that he was facing Christian, the outline his face barely visible in the pre-dawn light. One hand carded gently through the longish curls while the other stroked softly down to rest on the curve of Christian's ass. This man and the time they had spent together had changed everything. Aaron's life, his sense of self, his belief in his faith had all been shaken to the core. Maybe it had been a moment of weakness, a temptation meant to be triumphed over, but Aaron couldn't bring himself to believe that. Weakness did not make you feel free because you've finally faced the truths you had worked so hard to hide and deny. Giving in to temptation left behind a sick feeling of failure not the glow of love that warmed his sleep heavy limbs.

Mustering his courage and all his strength of will Aaron kissed Christian's forehead and whispered “I love you” before he carefully extracted himself from the limbs that were wrapped around him. He froze when Christian mumbled something in his sleep and curled in on himself missing the warmth and company even though he was still cradled in the arms of Morpheus. Giving himself one last mental push Aaron slid out from under the covers and stepped away from the bed. With quick, sure movements he pulled the blankets up and tucked them snugly around Christian.

The room was chilly, but not uncomfortable so for a young man who had lived all his life in Utah. Snow and ice were a part of winter that couldn't be avoided so it was best to learn to accept and deal with them. Accept and deal, with God's help of course, that was the theme of Aaron's life. He'd been raised to accept the path and his father and his Lord had laid out for him even if it was not the one he wanted. His life and his future was not his decide and up until he'd met Christian, Aaron had been okay with that. Granted he had the occasional rebellious thought, but prayer and seeing his father's disapproval had brought him quickly back onto the path of righteousness.

He shivered, a physical response to the chill that was creeping into his body and soul, and reached for his clothing. Dressing took almost no time, buttons were done and zippers pulled up without any conscious thought. He kept at arm's length the knowledge that each layer, each garment, separated him that much further from the man who had shown him what love could be a physical experience as well as a mental and emotional one.

In the bathroom Aaron wet his hands then ran them through his hair trying to smooth it down the best he could. He used his finger to brush his teeth, swishing and spitting several times even though there was really nothing to get rid of. His bag with his comb and other toiletries lay by the hotel room door, but Aaron couldn't bring himself to go get it. He was going back in disgrace, badly combed hair and morning breath didn't really stack up against that. The taste and scent of Christian lingered, stronger than Aaron’s primitive attempts at hygiene. The knowledge that he would be taking a little bit of Christian with him produced a watery smile that vanished almost as quickly as it appeared.

Back in the bedroom Aaron paused, his eyes roaming as lovingly over Christian as his hands had not too many hours before. As if feeling the weight of Aaron’s gaze Christian burrowed deeper under the covers. A contented sigh slipped from him accompanied by a blissful smile. Aaron closed his eyes letting the pain flow through, around, and past him. He could feel the loss of Christian, his acceptance and love, already. It was as sharp and acute as if a limb was being amputated.

In his mind’s eye he pictured Christian waking slowly and reaching for him, the hurt and betrayal clearly written on his features when he realized Aaron was gone. Christian had taken a huge risk in coming to Salt Lake then opening his heart and confessing his feelings. There was no way that Aaron could walk away without making sure that Christian knew had made the right choice by doing so. That his feelings were returned and treasured like the precious thing they were.

With a sigh, Aaron shoved his hands into his pocket and hunched his shoulders unsure what to do. The fingers of one hand wrapped around his great grandfather’s pocket watch and he smiled. The metal was warmed from the heat of his hand and felt right resting against his palm. He pulled it out and held it tight in his fist for a moment before uncurling his fingers so it was laid bare in the palm of his hand. Without hesitation he raised it to his lips before lowering it lie beside Christian’s clothes.

Aaron stood a moment longer drawing out the battle between what he wanted and what he knew he needed to do. He had never shied away from accepting the consequences of his actions, but that didn’t mean he faced then happily. He squared his shoulders and pulling the last of his reserves of self control to the forefront, he turned to go. As always obligation to family and faith came first no matter the personal cost. Duty was and would always be the cornerstone of the Davis family.

Once again he paused; hand on the knob of the hotel room door, to brush away the tears that were threatening to fall. Allowing him one final longing look that would have to last a lifetime Aaron slipped out of the room into the cold darkness of a new day.


End file.
